Monday, February 4, 2008


As I was sitting in church on Sunday I was thinking about learning. What I've learned, how continue to learn and who do I learn from. I think that most people would be surprised if I told them that I have learned something from them. All of my life I have watched people. Looked at them and what they are doing and how they are doing it. I've also watched to see what happens when people do things. Do good things happen or bad? And I've taken little bits of insight from here and there. I've learned much from watching. I watched and I've learned from other people's mistakes. I am sorry that those mistakes were made but I'm also grateful for them because I learned from them. Because I watched and learned, I didn't have to make those same mistakes or go through the pain that those mistakes caused.

I also learn through listening. Hearing things has a big impact on me. Words, spoken words and Especially words put to music. They have this amazing power to reach me. For some reason the written word, not so much. Although I do love to read. I just have a harder time retaining what I read than what I hear. If I put the two together it helps but I can read a book and then go back and re-read it a year or two later and still be surprised or not remember how it turns out.

Hands on is also a good way for me to learn but it terrifies me. I worry about making mistakes and messing up. So I don't try this way too often.

I'm also learning that when I watch other people I need to be careful not to go into a "comparison mode" because lately whenever I compare my self with someone else it seems that I come up lacking. Not that before I thought I was better than other but that everyone was equal. Now for some strange reason I find myself falling short. I don't like that. I don't even know if it's a reality or not. In my head I know it's not, that I'm just as good as others but then there is a stupid little voice that comes from somewhere saying things that make me doubt myself. It's not a good place to be. I'm working on getting out of it and if you're wondering why I'm saying all this, it's because I feel that I have to own up to it before I can get out of it. So I'm hoping that by putting this down here it will help me to squash that little voice and move forward instead of seemingly staying in one spot.


Anonymous said...

Man, that comparison stuff is tough, isn't it? I struggle there from time to time, as well. It's so unconscious sometimes, huh? I don't even realize I am doing it most of the time.

It's great you are writing about it - I agree, putting it out there always seems to give me new insights on whatever I am wrestling with.

Anonymous said...

you inspire me more than I ever tell you, btw.... thanks for this post.

I am a fan of yours I am baised, I think you rock!

I too though totally get you with the comparing stuff. Glad you put it here