I'm into Free Range Parenting

And proud of it.

You may remember a few posts back when I posed this question to the blogging community. I asked because my son called me to bring something of his in.

I told him no. *gasp*

Nope. Not gonna do it. Wouldn't be prudent.

Does that mean I didn't want to do it? No. I totally wanted to get his project, jump in the car and run it down to him. But I didn't.

Why? You ask. Because he needs to learn that he is responsible for remembering his work. It's not my job. It's his job. If he wants to get the credit and the good grades then he needs to do the work and remember to hand it in. Not me.

I had a couple of friends post this article from Time to facebook. I loved it so much that I'm sharing the link here. Take some time to go and read it. It's worth it. Believe me.

Can These Parents Be Saved?

One of the highlights? I loved where it talks about the school that instituted a "No Rescuing" policy because one day "a mom rushed in with a necklace meant to complete her daughter's coordinated outfit." Is that crazy or what? I would love a "no rescuing" policy.

I also let my kids walk or ride their bikes down to a local gas station to get a drink. Granted, I have them take the cell phone with them. And my six year old hasn't joined their ranks yet, but one day she will. My 11 year old daughter has walked to her friends house that is close to a mile away from ours on her own. I still get nervous having my youngest walk around the block to play but I'm working on that.

Another thing that I thought of as I was reading this article was that I got a call the other day from the head of "Reflections"(a program here in Utah to help students develop their artistic sides. Great program) informing me about the awards ceremony that was to be held Thursday night.

Both George and McKenna entered this year. I was informed that George would be receiving and Judges Choice for Artistic Merit. Cool! George's artistic abilities have really taken off this year. He has found a love of doodling and drawing that is awesome.

But the this mom seemed very apologetic that George wasn't going on to the council level. And even more apologetic that McKenna would only receive a certificate instead of a medal or a trophy. She apologized about that exact fact saying "We know how hard it is when siblings are involved." What?

There is absolutely nothing wrong, in my mind, with the fact that George received a medal and McKenna received a certificate. Nothing. That is how life is. Sometimes we get the Judges Choice and sometimes we get certificate. Heck often times we don't even get either of those! McKenna has received awards for how well she's done in national testing and George hasn't. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. And kids need to learn this.

Last night as the kids got their awards I think that they did a fabulous job of presenting and making every one of those kids feel great. McKenna and George not only got their awards but they also got a Gift Bag that had some pretty cool stuff in it.

Anyhow....

My kids are pretty much free range kids. Maybe not completely free range because we do have rules but they are not over scheduled or stressed. At least I don't think they are. Maybe I need to ask them and make sure.

They are also aware that sometimes life is going to throw them curve balls. And that life really isn't all that fair. And that sometimes they aren't going to be the winner or the best at something. I and they are okay with that (most of the time). And, as a parent, so am I. I love my kids no matter what and I guess when it comes down to it . As long as they know that....

That is all that matters.

Fun Run

The grade school has a "Fun Run" at the end of the year each year. To me this is a misnomer. The only thing that Fun and Run have in common is the "un" at the end of each of the words.

But I digress...

The kids love it. It was Jilli's first year. She's come down with me to watch the other kids in the past so she was pretty stoked about it. I always try to give the kids some advice, I wouldn't call it coaching, but advice on how to run these. I don't know why. They never really listen.

I'm posting pictures. So move along if you don't want to look.

And they're off!! Jilli rocked the 70's shorts and braids.

I love the look on her face in this one. They ran half a lap.
She was one of the last to come through but she finished hard.
Oh and she doesn't really go to school with faceless children.
(although that would make for a more interesting blog tidbit)
I've blurred their faces because I don't want some mom
coming after me for posting photos of her kid without permission.

I love this shot. At first I was mad because I missed her.
I missed MOST of her.
I captured her swiftness with the shot of
her braids flying and
her cute patootie.
Man that half a lap was HARD!
But she's all smiles.
George setting off. His class ran two laps. I tried to advise
him to start out fairly slow and then build up and sprint at the end.

Unfortunately he got a cramp about 3/4 of the way through the first lap.
But he finished! Way to go George!!
McKenna decided not to run this year. I fear that my attitude towards running has infected her. She and her friends cheered the runners on.
Go runners!

Blog Much?

Watch the video. It's pretty short. My son says "Put it on your blog!".

And tonight after getting home from Jona's 8th grade completion ceremony. (basically a graduation program from 8th to 9th grade) He then tells me I need to update my blog.

So yah.

Blog Much?

Here he is receiving his certificates from the Jr. High school principal.
Right now Jona is at a part and a dance to celebrate his accomplishments. A DANCE!!! With girls and everything. (He just came home and informed me that he did indeed dance with a girl. And that he also danced to Don't Stop Believing and Eye of Tiger. In his words "It was the best hour and a half of my life.")

Jona got five separate awards tonight. They didn't announce each award for each student they had a power point presentation that had the kids' names on them and what awards they were receiving.

He got an award for attendance. He had no unexcused absences, he did miss a couple of days but they were excused, he got an outstanding citizenship award and he received his 8th grade completion award. He passed all of his classes. Here he is showing off his Completion Award.

On top of those he got a Certificate of Outstanding Performance on the Iowa Tests. He was in the top 10 percent in Social Studies and in the Total Composite.

And he also received a special Certificate of Achievement for Excellence in History. He gave an oral report on the Battle of Normandy and the teacher was so impressed with his knowledge of the subject he got a 230 out of a possible 200. He LOVES History and wants to be the teacher's aide in that class next year. Here he is with his History certificate.


I am very grateful that my kids do well in school and enjoy it.

McKenna also got one of the Certificates of Outstanding Performance on the Iowa tests. She was in the top 10 percent for Science and the Total Composite.

And Jilli was on the honor roll this term.

And George makes a pretty darn good bouncing baby.

So I blogged about it. Now I can let my kids know.

They are such slave drivers.

Oh and as an aside, I am finding it hard to come up with the time to read and comment on all the blogs that I would like to. I'm reading here and and commenting there. And once the kitchen painting gets started in earnest. Which I'm hoping will be on Saturday then I will probably me MIA until it's finished. I'll try to pop in and out when I can. Sunday may be my "Catch up on reading blogs" day.

Can you believe it?

She's a Kindergarten Graduate!


Today my baby graduated from from Kindergarten. Can you believe it. I was okay until they put on their caps and held up their certificates and the Principal announced,
"Mom's and Dad's I present to you the class of 2021!"

Ty turns to me and says do you realize how old we will be then? I looked at him and he says...
"50"
!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here are Jilli and her papa. He'll be 50 when she graduates from high school.
I'll still be 49.

Jilli and my mom.

Jilli and her teacher Mrs. Austin. She was a great teacher.
So fun and warm and loving.

It was a great day. Until we took Jilli out for lunch with one of her buddies. We went to, of course, McDonald's. She felt so crappy. I felt so bad. She didn't want to eat or even stay to play. Poor thing. We came home and she went into her room to lay down. Thankfully she felt better after a while.

I hope she feels better in 2021 and is able to enjoy her graduation fully.

Love you Jilli!

Hope of America

Those of you who live in my county who have kids (or have had kids) in the fifth grade you know what this is all about. It's a huge program that is actually, supposedly, part of the 4th of July celebration in Provo. I know right?

Anyway this was our first year with a child participating. Actually it was supposed to be two kids but George neglected to remember or bring home any information on what time he was supposed to be there or where he was supposed to meet his group so that he could perform in the "pre-show."

The traffic getting over there was a nightmare, we barely got McKenna there at the time she was supposed to get there. Ty dropped McKenna, George and I off and then went to park the car. Mckenna then went to where she was supposed to be and George and I went in search of his group. Since we had no idea where we he was supposed to meet them we were unable to find them and he missed out. Which bummed both him and me out but there wasn't much I could do about it. Hopefully he'll learn from this the importance of bringing home notes and/or remembering what instructions he is given.

The program is a showcase of the youth and is all about freedom and our country. It is taped and broadcast to the troops who are over seas. Good program....what am I saying? Excellent program!

This year they had two nights because they had so many kids that wanted to participate. (They said somewhere in the 8,000 range!)

Amazingly enough I was able to pick out my girl from where we were sitting in the nose bleed section. Does that make me awesome or what?
George was very observant and said "Mom!! They make up a huge flag!" Yes George is on top of things. He wasn't sure about the yellow and I explained that the yellow was supposed to be a fringe....because some flags have a yellow fringe.

This picture was taken with no flash as kids performed a song called 50 states. They were whirling around in a circle. I thought it turned out cool so I'm going to post it.And they had this dance group that performed called "The Golden girls" It was a group of ladies from 50 - 92. They rocked the house!!! And the 92 year old? She did a solo at the end where she ended up in the splits. Crazy! I wish I had had enough memory on my card to do a video of her but I knew that I didn't so you'll just have to use your imagination.

Here are three videos from the night. My camera isn't that great but you can get the idea.
This first one is "America Rocks." You can't tell in the video but the kids are all wearing sunglasses.



This is a really short one of the kids in the flag doing the wave....a waving flag! HA!




And this is the last song of the program "We can be a Light" the kids sing it in the dark and then use flashlights. It's a very moving song. And of course I didn't have enough memory on my card to get the whole song...*sigh*




The thing I loved most about this song was how it touched my 14 year old. The lights came up and the applause had ended. I looked over to him and he had tears streaming down his face. He was so moved by the message and the presentation. He's an amazing kid. Very soft hearted and loving. He loves his country and I love him.

McKenna and all of the kids did an amazing job. They sang wonderfully and performed beautifully. I'm glad she got to go and participate in this. Hopefully next year will be George's turn.

*And this was actually posted at 1:00 a.m. on May the 7th. (although for some weird reason blooger(yes I know it's misspelled I did it intentionally because this time thing is ticking me off) says that I posted it at 11:40 p.m. on May 6th! Stoopid blooger.) I took some Excedrin at the program because I could feel a headache coming on. I've been off of caffeine now for a couple of weeks so taking those pills at 8:00 p.m. was not a wise decision. I should have just dealt with the headache.

Green Day

McKenna decided to get in on the action of the Green day. Her teacher was a party pooper and didn't even decide who wore the most green.
George went again with the multiple shirts...three....again. And shorts over his pants. He also has a camo handkerchief on his head with a camo hat over that. He won! A nice big candy bar.
And Jilli pulled out her striped socks and capri's again. She even had green ribbons at the bottom of those cute braids. Unfortunately she lost out again. To a girl who wore three green shirts. She dealt with the second loss much better than the first. Which is good.

Kites

I love flying kites. I have loved it since I was a kid. Every Spring I would buy a new kite. We had a large sheep field behind our house my friends and I would spend hours and hours out there flying those kites.

I would often stay out there until almost dark or until it started thundering and lightning. We would put rolls of string together to see how high we could get the kites to fly. I lost kites and never found them because they were up so high when the string broke or I lost my grip that there was no way to know where it came down. Some times my friends and I would search the neighborhoods surrounding our kite flying area for rouge kites. We did find two or three but most were lost for good.

Now I buy my kids those dollar kites at WalMart every year. I'm thinking of up grading though now that they are bigger. This year I bought myself a nylon ladybug kite and it flew like a dream. Even doing loop-de-loops a couple of times. It rocked.

I want to get one of those big stunt kites with two strings so you have to fly it with both hands. I didn't think that we would get the chance to do this over Spring Break but Saturday pulled through with good weather and enough wind to get those magical pieces of plastic or nylon up into the air.
Here is my ladybug kite up against the clouds and blue sky (held by my man hand).

Kites against the sky.George flying my kite.

McKenna flying her kite.
Jona enjoying the kite flying.
See this picture? I was actually trying to get a shot of Ty and George standing together flying kites. I didn't even realize I had captured this image until I uploaded them to my computer. That is Ty starting to run after the string of the kite that he just dropped. I tried grabbing it but missed and actually caused the kite to go higher. The kite made it all the way to a large tree. Fortunately it was not a kite eating tree and Ty was able to get it out of the tree and save the kite.
And finally here's my little Jilli enjoying the wonderful weather and the kites. She actually got tired of it pretty quickly and wanted to go and play on the playground area. That's okay. To each their own.

Spring Percussion Concert

My oldest son had his Spring percussion concert Thursday night. I love going to these concerts. He does a great job.

When he was going into seventh grade and told me that he wanted to take percussion I was surprised. You see Jona has mild Autism and with that comes a dislike of loud noises. He had a hard time going to see movies because of the noise level.

I talked with him about that. And asked him if he was sure he wanted to take it because it would most likely get very loud in that class. He assured me that he wanted to take it. We signed him up and he's loved it.

I've loved it because he has good friends in there. His teacher has been awesome and it's built up his self esteem. Anyway, here is a video from last nights concert. He's the one in the yellow tie right up front and center. Enjoy.

You've Had a Birthday, Shout Hooray!!

My second oldest child and my oldest girl turned 11 on the third! Woot! One year older and wiser too. Isn't that how it works?

She is a great kid. Very helpful and kind. She is hitting the "tween" stage though. But to be honest I have nothing bad to say about her. We have our moments as everyone does. She's not perfect and neither am I. But we love each other. And I think she's pretty darn cute! The middle picture was taken on her birthday. The rest are just a few of my fav's of her through the years.

j's off to school

So today is j's first day of Kindergarten. In fact I need to go and pick her up in about a half an hour. What did I do with the free time? I got the pictures that I took of her cropped and taken care of so I could post about it. So all in all I didn't do much.

She didn't seem to be nervous. She was a little excited but I got more of a "Let's just get this going and over with" type of vibe from her than anything else.



She is my baby. My last one to start school. Did I cry? Nope. I have been a little sad as each of the kids have started on their edamucational journey but only a few tears were shed as each started out. I was always more excited and happy for them than anything else.

I often have conversations where moms bring up how fast their kids grow up and how sad they are about it. Most of the time I feel uncomfortable in those conversations. Like some kind of wierdo. Why, you ask? Because I don't have those same feelings. I'm not sad to see my kids grow up. Isn't that why we are here? To grow and learn and progress.

I've come to the conclusion that I need to enjoy them in the moment. Not mourn the past or worry about the future (too much) but just enjoy them here and now. Celebrate with them as they reach new milestones, love them and help them through difficult times.

This mindset could come from the fact that I do have a difficult time when they are babies. But mostly I LOVE learning about them each day. Hearing stories of things that happened at school and how they liked Art but didn't like what was for lunch, or whatever!

I hope j. has an awesome time in school today. She's is more shy than the other three were and has some anxiety in large groups so hopefully all will be well. I can't wait to hear all about it as we walk home and forward on our journey here together.

I couldn't bring myself to dial the numbers 9-1-1

So I called our local police department number instead. I knew that it would get me to the dispatch center. I couldn't believe that I was actually making this call. My stomach was in knots and I was doing my best to keep it together.

"Hello dispatch" said the lady on the other end of the line.
"Yes. I need to report two of my children missing."
"How long have they been gone?"
"A little over an hour. We've searched the neighborhood, called all their friends. My husband is still out in the car driving around looking for them."

I went on to explain that my husband had been outside working in the yard and the kids were with him. Zoe and Zeke (our dogs) had been out there with them. Zoe is pretty good about staying in the yard but sometimes she gets out front. T. couldn't see her in the back yard so he told G. and j. to go in the house and look for her. A few minutes later T. comes in the house and finds Zoe downstairs out of her crate. He goes to find G and j. and they are nowhere to be seen. The neighbor kids at the apartments tell him that they saw them but that they were looking for Zoe and had gone down to the school.

While all this is happening I am at my mom's house sitting with my 97 year old grandmother so my mom could go out for a about an hour or so and get some visiting done. T. calls me at 4:30 to ask if I have seen them, thinking they may have walked over to grandma's house in their search. I hadn't seen them and I couldn't leave to help look for them because my grandmother can't be left alone. T. is left to search by himself. I am thinking that they will be showing up any minute now.

J. is waiting at home to call him if they show up there and M. is playing at a friends house. My mom was supposed to be done with her visiting at 5:00 but goes over. While I'm sitting there watching the news a story comes on about a man who had been casing a Wal-Mart looking for kids to molest. It happened just a few miles away. I am beginning to get a bit nervous.

T. comes to my moms house on foot because he's walked all through the grade school and Jr. High area looking for them. I've called the friends houses that aren't in our neighborhood but are in walking distance from our house to see if they may have stopped off there. Nothing. No one has seen them. T. takes the car that I have there with me and sets out again criss crossing the neighborhoods looking for any sign of our kids. My mom comes home at 5:30 and I hurry home to see if there has been any news. T. drives by me and picks me up. Now it's been an hour since they've been gone. And all we know is that they think that the dog is lost and are looking for her. How far would they go? Have they been picked up?

T. drops me off at home and I try one more friends house to see if they might be there. I knock on the door and ask if they are there. The mother says no and I tell her I am about ready to call the police. Which I am. I go back home and pick up the phone. Should I dial 9-1-1 or should I call dispatch. For some reason I can't dial those three numbers. I can't. If I dial those numbers I will come undone. So I call the local number that we have listed. I talk with the lady on the other end telling her what has happened.

"O.k. what are your children's ages?"
"Nine and Five"
"Is the oldest child a male?"
"Yes"
"What is his name?"
"G. O."
"What was he wearing?"

At this point I feel like I am going to vomit. I shouldn't be making this call. My kids should be home playing in the back yard, arguing with one another in their bedroom. Answering me when I yell their names as I go through the house, instead of the eerie silence that comes back to me.

"He's wearing green cargo shorts and a brown skate shirt with fire on it." (Please let that be what he was wearing. I didn't really pay attention to what he had on today.)
"What color is his hair?"
"It's light brown but it's in a very short buzz cut."
"And the five year old? What is her name?"
"j.o."
"What was she wearing?"
"Levi capri's and a gray t-shirt with a lady bug on the front."( I know I'm right about this one because I laid them out for her.)
"What color is her hair?"
"Dark brown just past her shoulders with two small braids in the front."

I then give her my name and she verifies my address and telephone number and tells me she has a couple of officers on the way but to go through my house and double check to make sure that the kids aren't there. I already have I wanted to yell at her but I agree and hang up the phone. I run through the house yelling for the kids again and only silence greets me. I go back out front to wait for the police car to come around the corner thinking this can't really be happening. All the while that footage and the story about the guy in WalMart running through my head along with a prayer "Let them be safe. Let them come home."

As I come out of the house the mother whose door I had knocked on earlier comes over to tell me that her son is with them as well. Something I didn't know. This makes me feel a bit better thinking that three kids, two of them 9 year olds, would be harder to take than two. But still I am nervous. She has walked down to the school as well because the kids at the apartments told her the same thing about them going to look for our dog. I call T. to let him know the police are on their way. As I'm talking with this mom she informs me that a drug deal just went down right out in front of the apartments as all this is going on.

I'm on the phone with T. as I'm standing in my front yard when this mother from the apartments looks over down the street and says "There they are!" I look down and see G. and his friend walking on the sidewalk across the street. Relief floods through me. I tell T. Then I see that j. isn't with them. I'm walking towards them and yell "Where is j?" He points behind him and then I see her about 20 feet behind...typical she doesn't walk very fast. As G. is crossing the street to the corner of our cul-de-sac the police car rounds the corner and sees him and stops. I walk down and get there just as T. pulls up. We have a talk with G. and j. with the officer. The friend and his mom are off to the side.

We thank the officer for his time and head back home. Our kids have never done something like this before. They went looking for our dog and were in this big field full of trees and dirt that is kind of at the bottom of our street. When they got there I think they were more playing than looking for Zoe because they came home with "treasures" that they had found. It was far enough away that they couldn't hear us yelling and it had enough hills of dirt and trees and everything that the kids were hidden from view. It was very, very scary. The kids now know that if one of the dogs get out that they are only allowed to look in our neighborhood...no going out of the cul-de-sac. They have to have one of us adults with them if they want to go further.

If G. or j. had just went downstairs to see if Zoe was down there this all could have been avoided but they didn't and it wasn't. I now have a very small iota of an idea of what the parents of missing children go through. No parent should EVER have to make that call. I feel for anyone who has had to or ever has to. It's a nightmare. I'm grateful that I was able to wake up from mine. And my prayers go out to those who don't get to wake up but have to live with the nightmare of having a child go missing and not return.

'S Up.

The day after J. had his talk with the VP I asked him if he had had any contact with the kid who threatened him. Here's how the conversation went.

Me: "So did you see that kid today?"
J: "Yes"
Me: "Did he say anything to you?"
J: "Yep. He said 'S up. Mom, that's slang for 'What's up'."
Me: "Ah. Gotcha."

I was chuckling because, amazingly I already knew what 'S up meant. So far so good. J. hasn't had any more problems with this kid. We actually were able to talk with both VP's when we went to Parent/Teacher conferences. They were held that same day that J. had gone in and talked with the VP. We've had contact with the one VP before but this was our first contact with the Mr. N. He was very nice. Actually he played football for T.'s dad when he was a coach at the high school so I guess that's a plus.

J. is doing okay in school. He struggles with handing things in when he is supposed to. He doesn't do homework very well. It's not that he doesn't understand the stuff it's just hard for him to keep organized and on top of things. We got positive feedback from all his teachers and I am grateful for them. I swear, all Jr. High teachers need to be given sainthood as far as I'm concerned. I couldn't deal with those kids day in and day out.