Happy Birthday!

So today is the birthday of my little j. She is 5 years old...or will be at around 11 p.m. I am not one of those mom's who can tell you the exact time of birth of my children. I can give you an approximation but not an exact time unless I 'm looking at the birth certificate. Is that bad?

Anyway at this time 5 years ago we were patiently waiting for j. to arrive. The day didn't start off with me being so patient though. I had an appt. with my OB and it was a week before my due date. Because my first baby was 9 pounds 8 ounces my doctor was willing to set up an induction date but that wasn't set until the 30th and I was VERY uncomfortable. I had been having contractions on and off all morning so I was hoping that when I went in to my dr's appt. that he would tell me that I could go straight over to the hospital. In a fit of optimism I packed the car with everything and headed to my appt.

Of course I was crushed when the dr. told me that everything looked good but to just go home and wait. I cried the whole way home. I tried to get back into a good mind set but when T. came home at around 5 I broke down again. I cried and cried. And I prayed. I asked that if there was any way that I could have j. as long as it didn't put her at risk, could I PLEASE get on with it. I went into full blown labor about 6:30 p.m. My prayer was answered and we headed over to the hospital.

With my first three children I did not have an epidural. I did have pain meds but not an epidural. Those things scared the heebie jeebies out of me. I was terrified that I would get one of those awful headaches that can sometimes happen when you get one. This time around though I was having some serious back labor and after having back surgery a year earlier I knew I wouldn't be able to do this without an epidural. So when the nurse asked me if I wanted one I said yes. My husband about fainted because I hadn't told him that I was even considering one. The anesthesiologist came in and got me all prepped and gave me the shot. Everything went fine with it but I still cried for about 20 minutes after he gave it to me because of the fear of the headache (which, btw, I never got thank heavens!).

After the epidural everything was great. I was able to drift in and out of sleep and I could administer the stuff to myself by pushing a little button, it was great. My dh actually didn't like this as much because he didn't feel like he was as much a part of it as the other three where he helped me breathe, oh well. Finally just before 11 I felt like I had to push so they got everything ready and I pushed probably 5 to 7 times and she was here. Beautiful and pink and not making a sound. The nurses said that they had never seen a baby that color of pink before who wasn't crying. The doctor handed her to me and she looked at me. The nurses were roughing her up drying her off trying to get her to cry and it ticked me off. She was lovely and pink and why did she need to cry? Well she finally started crying and that made the nurses happy. They took her off to measure and weigh her... I don't remember the length but she was 9 pounds even. Just beautiful.

She is still a pretty quiet kid. She doesn't say much if she doesn't feel like talking and she is pretty reserved in large groups, but if you get her going in a small group of people that she knows it's hard to get her to stop.

I've throughly enjoyed these past five years with here. The last few months have been rough. She's exerted her will and I've tried my best to back off and let her be but we butt heads often. I think we are too much alike, she and I. But I love her and I'm grateful for her influence in my life. I'm looking forward to watching her continue to grow and learn and exert her will, even if it gets hard sometimes. Because as she grows so do I.

Love you j. Happy Birthday.