Remembering

I'll be honest with you.  As I sat down with my kids at breakfast our discussion was not focused on this day. We spoke of other things.  Mr. Rogers and his hand knit sweaters, being one of them.  I was more concerned about getting food in them, signing papers and making out checks for clubs, and getting myself ready to be out the door and to work on time, than I was about the date.

I'm not really proud of that, but it's the truth.

I arrived at work got the building opened up and had taken care of the few things that needed to be done here at my desk.  Then I sat down and opened up my Facebook page.  It was flooded with pictures, links and video tributes.

The images that were seared into the American psyche 11 years ago passed before my eyes as scrolled down.  With those images came the remembering.  I realized that I have never written down my 9/11 experience.  While it is far, far less dramatic than most I still feel the need to write it down.  And maybe later on tonight I can make up for my, not remembering earlier this morning and have a discussion with my kids.

I remember that morning getting up and getting my oldest (who was in 1st Grade at the time) off to school.  Usually I had the T.V. on for background noise but this particular morning I had wanted to get out and go for a walk with the younger two kids as soon as Jona was off.

I was literally going out the door when the phone rang.  I had Mckenna and George in the jogging stroller and had to come back inside to answer the phone.  It was Tyran.  He asked me if I had the T.V. turned on and I told him, no I did not.  He told me to go turn it on right now.  I was irritated.  What could be that important that I had to go and turn the television on immediately?

As I pushed the power button and the screen came to life I saw the towers smoldering.  And then, in shock and horror I watched as the first tower fell.  I wondered "How many people did I just see die?"  I don't even remember what I said to Tyran.  I'm sure I told him I loved him and then I hung up the phone.

My two young children sat outside waiting for their walk.  So I went out and took them on a walk.  It was a perfectly beautiful early fall morning.  The sky was a brilliant blue and the air was slightly warm, but not hot.  I remember walking along the canal bank looking out over my beautiful peaceful valley.  Thinking that this day was going to change everything.

 I remember praying.  Asking God to bless our country at that difficult time. To bless all those who had lost their lives and all those who had lost loved ones.  I prayed for calm and peace and understanding.

 It was hard to go back into my house and turn the television back on.  I didn't want to face what was occurring.  How could this be happening on American soil?  Why?  But I did.  At the time we had two T.V.'s and so I put in a video for the kids because I felt that they were too young to understand what was happening.  I went into my room and continued to watch the events of that day unfold.  I cried and my children asked why.  And I had to try and explain to them that some bad men had done a very bad thing and that a lot of people had died and so I was sad.

So very sad.

11 years later I am still very sad when I see the pictures and the video of what happened there in New York.    11 years later I still pray.  11 years later I need to remember.  Remember to teach my kids to pray for those same things that I prayed for on that day.  Because even now we need those things.

And we need to remember.