Thursday, June 18, 2009

My dad's Father's Day gift to me

Ty and I went to the temple tonight. We have a family reunion, on his side, coming up on Saturday and this temple night was part of it. I'm so grateful that this was scheduled.

If you aren't a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and would like to know more about temples you can go here.

First off, I have been kind of dreading this weekend.

It's the first Father's Day since my dad passed away. There have been commercials on the radio about Levi jeans on sale at Reams that have almost brought me to tears. My dad loved Levi's 501 jeans and mom would go to Reams to buy them. I wasn't sure how I was going to deal with this Sunday.

Tonight as we were directed into the Endowment room and I sat down I was overcome with the feeling that my dad was there. Even before the session began.

Dad was a temple worker there in the Mt. Timpanogos temple. He and mom served there early on Saturday mornings. He loved it. Even though he had health issues and it was difficult for him he still served.

After they were released from their calling I felt bad that I never went to the temple while they were there serving. I never got to see him in his white suit. If I could go back in time that is one thing I would do. Go through a session on one of those early Saturday mornings.

As we were waiting for the room to fill up and I was looking at the temple workers who were there. Dressed in there white suits. I was thinking about not seeing dad in his. And that is when the feeling that he was there came over me.

It was amazing. He was there. I could feel it. I know it. He was there.

It was amazing and wonderful. Then as the session went on there came a point where this unbelievable feeling came over me. I knew that my dad has joy in me and in my life. That even though he is no longer here on this earth that he still keeps tabs on me. I could feel his joy and knew that I was the source of that joy.

I can't even begin to express to you how much that meant to me.

Dad and I didn't talk much. He wasn't an expressive person. I knew that he loved me. We said "I love you" back and forth whenever we would leave. I knew he was pleased with my life and the decisions I had made but it was never verbalized.

I know it now. I know it more than any words he could have said while he was here on this earth.

Then as we prepared to move into the Celestial Room I was excited. Incredibly excited. I knew that I would be able to feel my dad's presence even more so in there. I can't explain the anticipation that I felt as I stepped from the one room into the next.

Oh the love and the joy that I felt!

Ty came through at almost exactly the same time as I did and pulled me into a hug as tears fell down my face. We greeted the other family members that were there for the reunion and then went and found a spot to sit.

As I sat, I reveled in my dad's presence. In this gift that he had given me. The chance to know that he really is still there. That I bring him joy and happiness. To feel that joy, to feel his happiness.

If we could have turned around and done another session I would have. In a heart beat.

And yet I wasn't sad to leave. Why? Because I know that even if I don't have this same experience again, I've had this one. And there will be chances for others.

My dad lives. He is strong and tall, he is happy, he is healthy and he is pleased with me. In that knowledge I was able to leave the temple with an incredibly happy heart.

Families? They are Forever. It is true.*

I will see my dad again someday.

Father's Day is going to rock.

*(Want to know more about this? Go HERE.)


Kristina P. said...

What a beautiful post, Shanna!

Wendyburd1 said...

That was so beautiful and touching Shauna!! SO beautiful!!

P.S. What kind of camera do you use, the one on your photo blog??

Madalyn :) said...

LOVED this story! I admire how awesome your family is!

Rachel Sue said...

This was so beautiful! What a blessing and a comfort that must have been. I'm so happy for you.

Christa said...

I am so glad you were able to have this wonderful experience. I'm so happy for you!

Emmy said...

Thank you so much! That was wonderful, I am so happy that you were able to have this wonderful experience.
And you made me cry! :)

Barbaloot said...

Thank you for sharing that. I'm so happy you got to have the experience.

Jillene said...

First--thanks a lot for making me cry on a Friday morning!! (0;

Second--I am SOOOOOOO happy for you and your BEAUTIFUL experience.

Tammy said...

Oh Shanna, What an incredible experience! Thank you for sharing it. It made me cry. I remember seeing your dad in the temple several times on Saturday mornings. He often checked my recommend. He always seemed so happy to be there. I'm sure he was especially happy to be there with you for this special experience.

muggins mahooney said...

Shanna I'm so glad you got to spend some time in the temple and have such a great experience with your dad. Have a great Father's Day!

Bonnie the Boss said...

What a great experience for you!

Erin said...

Very neat experience. I also love how it happened at just the time you needed it - right before Father's Day. So instead of feelings of despair this Father's Day, you will have feelings of peace and happiness.

Debbie said...

That is so special. What a good feeling!

Lee said...

This is so sweet... I hope you can find peace and happiness this Father's day.

Anonymous said...

I knew that my dad has joy in me and in my life.

I was doing okay until I read that part. What a wonderful post! thanks for sharing it.

so glad you got that confirmation. Honestly. I know you needed that and hope you have continued peace this weekend.

love ya girl! I think you were his favorite anyway, born around Father's day :)

tammy said...

Love this. What an amazing experience, one I'm sure you'll never forget.

AS Amber said...

Very cool, gf. After tomorrow you won't have to ever have another "first Father's Day without my dad." And you can more enjoy the rest.
Love ya!

Pedaling said...


i think i'll go to the temple this week!

That Girl said...

I miss my daddy.

Thank you.

Me said...

What a beautiful gift! Thank you for sharing it with all of us as well!

Melinda said...

Wow. Thanks for sharing such a personal moment! I had a similar one shortly after my dad died. He died only 4 months before I got married. It was great to have that moment, but I never really had it again, and I was really sad. I still feel him sometimes, but never as strong as the first time. I think it's just because he's so busy in heaven with all the work that has to be done! I hope you were able to enjoy your Father's Day!

Sharon said...

What a great experience! My dad has talked about making time to be a temple worker now that he's without a job. I hope he does it. I love being so close to the temple here in Houston (it's in our ward boundaries) but, of course, we don't get over there as often as we should. Maybe having my dad there would give me the incentive to go more often.

Melissa said...

What an amazing post! I can feel your spirit and am touched and grateful you shared.
Love the tender little mercies that come our way just when we need them. I suspect you have needed this one!

Becca said...

That was a beautiful post. You brought me to tears. Thank you for sharing such a sweet and tender moment with us.